Life at this Point

            I have sat down on numerous occasions and tried to formulate a post that expresses what has been happening this semester, but to be honest, I don’t know if there are words to express what is happening.

            I started out my semester by being asked by a friend to be a bridesmaid in her wedding. I didn’t mind it, because she and her fiancée (now her husband) are friends of mine. The problem came when I had to make sure that I didn’t gain or lose too much weight between the time I purchased the dress and the wedding. I only had two weeks, but can you believe that I lost too much, gained, and then I still ended up having to take the dress in 2 inches the day before the wedding, and it was still loose fitting the day of the wedding.

            I realize that there are some people who would love to have this problem, and before I go on and you think that I don’t, let me state that I love having this problem, too!

            Of course, now that the wedding is over, it is all clear for go at losing weight. Last night as I was on the treadmill (I went for an hour and walked/jogged an equivalent of 3 miles!), I started to think about how sporadic my exercising becomes when school starts back. I want to lose weight and as of my weigh-in this morning, I have officially lost 50 pounds! That’s why, in order to reach my goal, I’m going to have to make some tough choices. I have to decide if school or exercising is more important.

            Certainly, school is a priority in my life. I want to have a career. But I also know that if I don’t take better care of my health, I may not live to see that career. I plan on sticking it out.

            After consideration, I figured it out that I have about 135 pounds to go to meet my goal. My mini-goal is to weigh 250 by the end of October. Seems ironic that that was my goal last year at this time, too!

            How we come full circle! I had lost down to 262 last year, then gained back up to 280, only to be at the point today saying, “I can’t yo-yo anymore!”

            In the last year and a half, I have made many discoveries. The most recent is that I have come to terms with self-image issues that went beyond my weight. It is difficult to erase negativity about your own beauty when ugly has been beat into your head. It may not seem like much more than silliness of adolescents and teens when they make disparaging remarks, but sometimes, those remarks leave scars that people carry for the rest of their lives. It is the reason why we should truly guard our tongues.

            I have wondered if the people who said such hateful things about me, when they thought I was out of earshot, really feel bad that they had said those things. Do they regret it? I may never know the answer to that, and I don’t know if I want to know. Those things are between them and God. The only things that I can have a say over is how I teach my children not to do that to others. I can instruct them and I can guard my own tongue.

            But I must digress. I don’t want to focus on this.

            Instead, I want to focus on the fact that I was asked to join the English Honor’s Society at school. I wonder if this now means that I am a super-nerd. So far this semester my grades have been awesome. I knew that they would be.

            I have been challenged in my thoughts this semester. Ethics class and Basic Christian Beliefs class have had me questioning things that I thought I knew. Now, I’m not so certain. Of course, I know that in the end, I will have a better foundation.

            Well, that’s all for right now. I’ll catch up more when I can. Right now, I have to work on too many papers.

A Change of Direction

It seems so surreal. I had every intention of walking into the Division Chair’s office and laying it on the line that I am scared. I’m terrified in this shifting economy where teachers are being let go and no one is being hired. So what do you do?

I knew immediately that I needed to make myself more marketable. I’m not an idiot. I’m a person who has been around and I have a lot of experience under my belt. I know what sells and how to sell myself. I knew that to compete in such a tough market, I needed an edge.

Sometimes Honesty Hurts

Sometimes, when you are trying to be honest, it hurts.  Just the admission of the underlying truth is painful, but you have to put it out there.

I’ve avoided having certain conversations with my Dad because of honesty.  Why would I want to hurt him by telling him how I feel?  And if I told him, would he be disappointed?

So imagine my surprise when my Dad looked at me and said, “Don’t you let him talk you into quitting?  He’s an insecure little man and I’m worried that he’s going to force you into quitting because he’s so insecure.”

I almost fell off the couch.

School Visit This Morning, Emergency Room by Noon

I know, I said I was going for light-hearted, but that is NOT how my day went.  I started out going to the Middle School visitation this morning, where I,  of all people, was late.  I hate that, but then, it was okay, too.  I was excited to visit this beautiful, state of the art, school in lower Greenville County.  The school was remarkable, the staff wonderful, and I think I may shoot for a field experience there next semester.

When we left, they gave us all goodie bags filled with a student teacher’s favorites:  office supplies!

A goodie bag filled with office supplies! A student teacher's best friend!

Of all the things in the bag, the post-it notes and post-it flags are going to come in handy the most.  I love the post-it flags to mark pages in my textbooks!  I go through alot of them and to get more as a gift was wonderful!

We even received a membership to the SC Middle School Association!  That was by far the coolest gift in the bag.

I did get a new keychain, so I guess I’m going to have to retire my Tony Stewart keychain in favor of this teacher keychain.  After all, I want to start getting into the teacher mindset!

Then, as I was leaving the school, I got an odd phone call from my husband.  I rushed home and found him unresponsive.  He was in severe pain, couldn’t walk, and I was unsure as to what was going on.  He had gone into shock from the pain. 

[Should I mention he has a low threshold tolerance for pain?]

I got him to the hospital and after running tests and X-rays, they had nothing to tell us.  The doctor had suspected, as I did, that his artificial hip had possibly dislocated.  The X-rays did not show anything conclusive, so we have to follow up with another doctor.  They think that the pain is serious, but yet, they are not sure what is the cause of it.

They gave him a shot for the pain and knocked him out which was fun.  The nurse came in and spoke to him and he giggled and said something silly that made no sense.  I told him that he needed to find me the number for his boss so I could tell them he wouldn’t be in this afternoon.  That was a hoot!  He would flip open his phone [I was on mine trying to call other people] and as soon as he did, he forgot why he flipped the phone open, so he’d close it and put it down.  He called someone else, too, I don’t know who he was talking to, but it wasn’t who he was trying to call for me.

[Should I mention he also has a low tolerance for pain meds?   ]

If anything, laughing watching him try to make a phone call 40 times, was entertaining.

I’m still worried because we have no answers, but I have to trust that God has a plan for this.  Even if His timing is not the best for me, but what do I know?  His is always perfect!

Call Me Ms. Controversial

Today has been one of those days for the record books.  You know the kind where everywhere “I” seem to turn “I” am in the middle of something.

So why does that not surprise most people, least of all…ME?

I think it has to do with the fact that I’m so open-minded, opinionated, and I can find the humor in EVERYTHING!  Maybe that is also why I’m so fun to be around!

It all started with this morning and my usual visit to the coffee shop on campus…

Please Pay Attention to the Following Announcement…

You just gotta love school announcements…

In Gary Paulsen’s book, Mudshark, my son Kyle got a huge kick out of the way each chapter started with the Principal making an announcement.  Well, this week I’ve been working my student teaching practicum at the local Middle School, and I have to say that the announcements have been at times humorous.  I’m sure that Mr. Y did not mean for them to come across as funny, but the teacher and I- along with the students in class- got a real chuckle out of them.

I Am Not One to Complain, But…

Today I went to school with every intention of actually enjoying my day.  In fact, I was optimistic.  I just knew that the professors I had for today, along with the classes, were going to be a breeze!

Then, reality hit me in the face like a syllabus I had not yet seen.

American Literature class is going to be difficult.  It is going to be just like my British Literature class (whose syllabus I had already seen), with much reading to be accomplished and many written reports to give.

My only hope for a reprieve was to be my Education class.  My reasoning being that it was just to discuss the Curriculum of Middle School and I would be visiting a classroom to observe.

Yeah.  Right. 

The Consequences of Smelling Like Tony Stewart

Perhaps back in December when he was trying so very hard to smell like Tony Stewart, he should have given it a little more consideration. I mean, after all, a 12 year old just isn’t quite old enough- or ready enough- to be getting his Swagger on. Even more so, I don’t think that the little girls in his class were quite ready to be hit with so much Swagger. I know I wasn’t, because I had to take him to school with the window cracked in the car, mostly because there was not enough room or air in the car for us and Kyle’s Swagger.

Fast forward into January

Time, Martha, and Organization

Time.  It is a very precious commodity.  Each day we are given 24 hours to live to the fullest.  Each moment of our lives, we allot certain quantities of this time and use it.  Do you use your time wisely?

I can say that I don’t.  I really do not know how to use my time wisely.  Most days I feel like Martha in the Bible as she tells Jesus, “Hey, I’m doing all the work here and Mary just isn’t helping.”  I take it all on and I try to accomplish it all at once, and just like that Martha, I don’t listen to the words that Jesus says, “Mary chose what was better.”

I need to choose what is best.  I need to plan my time according to what is best.

Unfortunately, planning means organizing, and let’s face it, Organization and Martha just do not go together.  Add to the fact that I’m a scatterbrained Gemini and you have the makings of a mixed up mess!

From 200 m.p.h. to 0 in a day

The biggest thing about finishing up a semester is coming to a screeching halt.  The last 3 weeks seem to be non-stop with all assignments coming due and final exams, only to leave you twiddling your thumbs when it is all said and done.

I hate the end of a semester.  I find it hard to transition from always having something to do and something due to having nothing.  It is like a racecar