My Most Challenging Writing Assignment, Ever!

        My Advanced Writing professor gave us an assignment.  I usually do not find writing assignments challenging, but this one had me in tears.  In fact, I had a hard time typing it because I was crying so hard at one point, I could no longer see the screen, or the keyboard.  The Assignment?  Write about a tragic event that happened in your life.  Give two perspectives:  Your thoughts and what is actually going on around you.

The event I selected was my mother’s death.  I think the reason why is because I needed to finally put it on paper and be done with it.  I’m glad that this in-class writing assignment was done out of class because I would have been a blubbering fool sitting in class writing this.

**Warning:  You’ll need tissues nearby… maybe.   

      The night before my mother passed away, I sat beside her bed, holding her hand while she writhed in agony.  My heart just ached for her, because I felt as though

The Sum of All My Fears

I have not had much time to blog, so below is a Journal Entry that I wrote for my Advanced Writing Class.  I may use some of these, unless of course they become to personal, or strange, but then again, I may post them anyhow, because I usually write about strange personal things!

Journal Entry 1/18/2010:

            I have been plagued by the look on my Dad’s face when he came to the house on Sunday.  There was just something in the way that he hugged when he came in the door that makes me worry so much.  As a matter-of-fact, I began to worry at that moment, not when he told me about Wednesday, but that moment of hugging me.

            It’s funny how there are times when our body language signals an underlying fear that even we are unaware of.  He hugged me as though he would never see me again.  He hugged me as though he were about to reveal some horrible news.  He hugged me as though he himself were scared.

            Maybe it is the thought of my Dad actually being scared that triggered my uneasiness.  After all, he’s been this strong man who does not cry.  He’s been a rock that you leaned on when you yourself needed the strength to stand.  He has always been the one that you turn to, not the one turning to you.

            Yet, he turned to me.

Revving Up

Like it or not, I’m in the pace laps of a race where parts of it, I’m not sure I’m ready for.  For one, Kyle is entering into a stage of life that I thought I would have at least a few more years to go.  Secondly, a new semester is upon me and it is one where I need to be organized to succeed.  Then, there is the fact that I need to complete so many unfinished projects here at home.

That seems like a lot going on, but the fact is, it is rather normal.  In fact, I’m certain that there is more going on that what I posted.  You see, entering into this semester- and 2010- I’m faced with my son’s upcoming trial and my Dad announced Christmas Day that his cancer is back.  This last fact is why I hate holidays.  I just cannot handle them anymore!

On Valentine’s Day 2007, the doctor gave my mother a year to live because her cancer had come back.  Easter 2008, my mother passed away a week after.  I had one day of her being lucid enough to talk to me.  The next time, she couldn’t remember people’s names.  She kept calling me, “Mama.”

So, as you can see, this is going to be a tough time all the way around.

As for Kyle,

The Day the Music Died

I know, it sounds like some cheesy line from a song… oh wait, it is from a song.  Anyhow, something very unusual happened this past week which made me think back to that very day that the music died.  It just so happens to be the day my Mom died as well.  Depressing, I know, but when I think back on how everything came to one huge culmination, it is more than depressing, it’s downright ironic.

You see, I had been sick and depressed for a long time:  3 years.  I had been to so many specialists with no one knowing exactly why I was sick, or even what I had.  After watching me deteriorate, my dear CH said

Memories of Mom part 1

My Mom

My Mom.  The reason I am who I am. 

When we were driving down the road (actually any time we are somewhere and need a story I usually recall some of my Mom’s more infamous moments) going to and from NC on our road trip, I decided to tell one of my Mom’s funny adventures.   Did you ever know someone in your life that things just always seem to happen to them?  A friend once said that I lived that kind of life, but my Mom, she has me beat by a mile.

I realized in my Road Trippin’  post I mentioned about having Tony Stewart to sit on my coffee table.  So I figure I’ll give you one of my Mom’s moments and maybe you will understand the hilarity of the comment.