The Little Things… and the Big Things, Too

Yesterday, I went to my nephew’s “soon-to-be” wife’s baby shower. She is a sweet girl, who fits so well with everyone in the family. They are having a precious baby girl [who will be rather spoiled, I might add]. Everyone is so excited.

It seems rather odd to be saying that I will soon be a great-aunt, but in some ways, it feels good, too. When she opened my gift yesterday, she looked at the name tag and said, “YOU are Aunt Marcy!”

I replied, “Yes.”

She said, “All I hear about is Aunt Marcy. Aunt Marcy. And I thought, ‘Who is this Aunt Marcy?’ I thought your name was Martha?”

Yes. Everyone has called me Marcy in my family and I’m okay with it. Because… Life goes on and with it, things change. Even I have changed in my life.

I look back on

Life at this Point

            I have sat down on numerous occasions and tried to formulate a post that expresses what has been happening this semester, but to be honest, I don’t know if there are words to express what is happening.

            I started out my semester by being asked by a friend to be a bridesmaid in her wedding. I didn’t mind it, because she and her fiancée (now her husband) are friends of mine. The problem came when I had to make sure that I didn’t gain or lose too much weight between the time I purchased the dress and the wedding. I only had two weeks, but can you believe that I lost too much, gained, and then I still ended up having to take the dress in 2 inches the day before the wedding, and it was still loose fitting the day of the wedding.

            I realize that there are some people who would love to have this problem, and before I go on and you think that I don’t, let me state that I love having this problem, too!

            Of course, now that the wedding is over, it is all clear for go at losing weight. Last night as I was on the treadmill (I went for an hour and walked/jogged an equivalent of 3 miles!), I started to think about how sporadic my exercising becomes when school starts back. I want to lose weight and as of my weigh-in this morning, I have officially lost 50 pounds! That’s why, in order to reach my goal, I’m going to have to make some tough choices. I have to decide if school or exercising is more important.

            Certainly, school is a priority in my life. I want to have a career. But I also know that if I don’t take better care of my health, I may not live to see that career. I plan on sticking it out.

            After consideration, I figured it out that I have about 135 pounds to go to meet my goal. My mini-goal is to weigh 250 by the end of October. Seems ironic that that was my goal last year at this time, too!

            How we come full circle! I had lost down to 262 last year, then gained back up to 280, only to be at the point today saying, “I can’t yo-yo anymore!”

            In the last year and a half, I have made many discoveries. The most recent is that I have come to terms with self-image issues that went beyond my weight. It is difficult to erase negativity about your own beauty when ugly has been beat into your head. It may not seem like much more than silliness of adolescents and teens when they make disparaging remarks, but sometimes, those remarks leave scars that people carry for the rest of their lives. It is the reason why we should truly guard our tongues.

            I have wondered if the people who said such hateful things about me, when they thought I was out of earshot, really feel bad that they had said those things. Do they regret it? I may never know the answer to that, and I don’t know if I want to know. Those things are between them and God. The only things that I can have a say over is how I teach my children not to do that to others. I can instruct them and I can guard my own tongue.

            But I must digress. I don’t want to focus on this.

            Instead, I want to focus on the fact that I was asked to join the English Honor’s Society at school. I wonder if this now means that I am a super-nerd. So far this semester my grades have been awesome. I knew that they would be.

            I have been challenged in my thoughts this semester. Ethics class and Basic Christian Beliefs class have had me questioning things that I thought I knew. Now, I’m not so certain. Of course, I know that in the end, I will have a better foundation.

            Well, that’s all for right now. I’ll catch up more when I can. Right now, I have to work on too many papers.

Taking a Stand on the Teacher Issue

South Carolina has a serious issue right now, although it is not alone. Other states across the United States share this same issue. The issue is education.

Despite what many may think, education is not funded under the federal system. It is controlled and funded in part by each state, which in turn sends accountability reports back to the federal government.

Due to the economic downturn we have been experiencing, school budgets here in South Carolina have taken a beating. This has led to teacher and school staff cutbacks in many counties across South Carolina. With so many educators being forced out of the education system, new college graduates must feel the pressure.

Students who have not graduated yet are changing majors to reflect this economic crisis. However, according to a recent article, this creates a problem later on down the road in 5 to 7 years when teachers retire and there becomes a shortage.

My question is “What about now?”

I will graduate in December 2011. Will I have a job?

Unlike my younger colleagues who can move and start life anew, I cannot. Another student who is a dear friend of mine graduated last week with no job prospects. We have the same major: English Education. Just like me, this friend has a family already established in the area along with a home. Who can sell a home in this market, uproot their family, and move for what may or may not be a promising prospect for a job?

It is questionable how educators can teach for so little money (starting pay in S.C. is around $32K). If you consider the amount of time required for the job, teachers make on average $3/hour. They are dedicated to their job.

What does South Carolina do to try and “salvage” teacher jobs? They freeze their pay and tell them, “No bonuses.” Then, they start “letting the teachers go.” How many have to be “let go” and how many times are you going to freeze their pay? You need to start looking into the budget deficits. You already have schools who do not meet AYP. What does this say about reduction in teachers, increase in student to teacher ratio?

And Andre Bauer thinks the problem is with the poor on reduced and free lunches. Yeah, Mr. Bauer, you just keep telling yourself that.

Everyone Has a Story

I walked into Advanced Writing class this morning and sat down.  I didn’t know that it wouldn’t be long before i was up- sans my cup of coffee I had just purchased- and out the door.  Our professor, Dr. M, handed us slips of paper that read, “You have 30 minutes to find a story to share.” 

30 minutes!  Are you kidding me?  And to whom am I going to talk?

Everyone scattered out of the room.  Everywhere, class members were talking to the first people they came to and I had to just keep moving.  I just kept thinking, “Who do I know?”

I wandered down to the coffee shop on Campus and still, people I knew were already taken.  I rounded the corner and saw this young man sitting by himself on a computer.

“Martha, you don’t know him.  Just go and find someone else.” I said to myself.

Yet, something prodded me, pushed me into walking over.

I Am Not One to Complain, But…

Today I went to school with every intention of actually enjoying my day.  In fact, I was optimistic.  I just knew that the professors I had for today, along with the classes, were going to be a breeze!

Then, reality hit me in the face like a syllabus I had not yet seen.

American Literature class is going to be difficult.  It is going to be just like my British Literature class (whose syllabus I had already seen), with much reading to be accomplished and many written reports to give.

My only hope for a reprieve was to be my Education class.  My reasoning being that it was just to discuss the Curriculum of Middle School and I would be visiting a classroom to observe.

Yeah.  Right. 

Special Needs means Special Kids and Super Special Teachers

If you’ve read my blog and read my post titled, “The Truth about CJ,” you know that I have a special needs child.  He’s seventeen and while it is easy to overlook the disability, it’s there.  If you speak to him, you’d know without anyone telling you.  I don’t care.  He’s mine!

Since he was in the 1^st grade, I’ve had problems with

Who Me, Worried?

This afternoon I took the Praxis I test that I needed to pass before I can enter into Lock I of the Education program at my college.  For nearly a year I have been worried about taking this test.  Even this morning, I was doing well not to panic until CH asked, “Are you nervous?”

Well, I wasn’t until

The Big Test

On Tuesday I will have the opportunity to complete yet another hurdle in my race to obtain my degree.  In order to be admitted into Lock I of the Education Program at my school, I must successfully complete the Praxis I test.  So, that means I need my readers’ help.  Please send some prayers my way Tuesday.  It would be much appreciated.

One of the hardest obstacles that I have faced with going back to school is the fact that it has been so long since I learned some of this stuff.  Especially Math!  Twenty-one years, in fact.  Actually twenty-two years if you consider the fact that my senior year in high school I did not take a Math class.  Instead, I took a Computer programming class where I wrote computer programs that solved math problems.  Then there was the Physics class which destroyed my GPA and dropped me down to the point where I graduated 10^th in my class instead of in the top 5.  Yeah, I know, I complain about a lot, but I come from a very competitive family.  My dad raced.  My brother raced.  I wasn’t allowed in a race car, so I had to compete in something, because, I wasn’t the athletic type, either.

Well, enough whining, I need to brush up on my Geometry and Algebra.

O Shakespeare, Why Art Thou So Ostentatious

Being an English Major at my age, I realize that there are many things that I have forgotten over the years.  One is vocabulary.  Oh, how I long for the vocabulary of my youth!  I long for the days when I had an entire dictionary memorized to the point that by the time I entered college the first time around, my Journalism professor criticized my use of big words.  I believe his exact words were, “While I’m impressed that someone would have such an extensive vocabulary, the average reader has an eighth grade education and would not understand a word of what you just written.  You get… an F!”

It was the first time in my life that I ever received an F.

Lick any pigs lately

More than once I’ve faced the supposition that perhaps I need to learn when to refrain from opening my mouth.  However, there are times when the possibility of saying something is just way too overpowering and I just have to give in to the impulse.