Sitting in my Effective Methods class the Spring of 2009, we watched a video about the Corridor of Shame. It was a documentary based on the schools located along the I-95 corridor. It was then that I heard the Lord speak to me saying, “I want you to go there.” My heart’s reaction was, “Lord, You want me to go where?” It was then that I started making my excuses for why I could not go to this area. The reason I mention this is because after my devotions today, I wrote in my journal about this same thing.
God told the children of Israel that he was going to take them to the land flowing with milk and honey. When they got there, they decided that the enemy was too much and they made excuses as to why they could not go where the Lord was sending them. Their punishment: They would wander the desert for 40 years and never see the land promised, but their children would go after they were dead.
Wow!
I think of their grumblings and complaints, then I think of mine.
Every time the issue came up, I made excuses until one by one God took my excuses away from me.
Excuse #1: God, I can’t go because we are buying this house and it would be hard to sell and relocate.
God’s solution: We lost the house.
Excuse #2: God, Tony has a good paying job and a chance at a promotion.
God’s solution: Tony asked me for a divorce.
(I’m not saying that divorce is something that God condones. I’m saying that suddenly, I don’t have that as an excuse anymore!)
Well, there are more excuses, but I’m not going to go into my love life in this post.
Anyhow…
It was FSD4 that contacted me for the job. I did not contact them. I didn’t even know I had the job. That was something that felt odd. But to tell the truth, I was planning on an apartment in Liberty, I wanted a job nearby, I wanted to continue seeing the great guy I was dating, and I wanted to start the life I envisioned.
Truth be told, my car breaking down on the way home from my job interview in November was a blessing in 2 ways. One, I wouldn’t have made it through the torrential rainfall with the tires I had on that car. I would have been dead on the side of the road. Two, if I had not had to fork out the money I had to repair my car, I would have paid the deposit on the aparment in Liberty and moved. Instead, I had to turn down the apartment because I didn’t have the money.
When the job was offered at FSD4, I had 2 weeks to move. I had 2 weeks to come up with a plan to move. Even in all of this, my efforts were null. It was done so that I- and others- could see God’s hand in this. It was to be His witness. Someone in my life needed to see this first hand. Someone needed to know God. I don’t know who that person is, but I pray that through this testimony of what God accomplished for me, that they were filled with hope, had their faith renewed, or found God.
All praise and glory go to Him! Not me. I did not do this. I did not have the means to do this. I had no money. I had no credit to obtain a loan. In fact, when I tried to obtain a loan, I showed them my paystub from Ingles and they laughed at me, before telling me that they could not give me a loan. Therefore, I had to trust that when God told me in 2009 to go, He was going to provide the way.
And He did.
Just Me... and my crazy life is a blog based on my personal experiences. If you read long enough, you'll wonder why I haven't gone insane yet. I am a mother of two boys, one of which is a special needs child. Plus, I'm a full time student studying to become a high school English teacher. Then there are my weight loss struggles as I battle with Fat Girl and Inner Skinny Chick in the battle of the bulge. With so much that goes on... well, you'll just have to read on to believe it.
